To my Dovah: Happy half Birthday

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My dearest little dovahkiin,

I can’t believe it has been 6 months since we welcomed you to the world. As I write this you are diligently trying to crawl. It feels like a world away from my sleepy little newborn who needed to be woken for a feed. Every day I sit here watching you learn a little bit more about the world.

You show me that daddy and I are good parents. We can see it in the way your eyes light up when we are together. I can see it when you reach out to make sure one of us is with you as you sleep each night. We are good parents because we do what works for you and what feels right for us.

Every time we go out on an adventure you are so willing to share you gorgeous gummy smile. I love that you always seem to spot the one person who needs cheering up and will start to chatter away to them.

I love every sleepy cuddle that we have. You don’t seem to like the cot at the moment so you get to sleep in the family bed. Apart from the fact that you steal my side of the bed, we love having you there. We are looking at getting a bigger bed so we can all get a good nights sleep.

Well, it is naptime now so I will wrap it up. Mummy and Daddy love you very much and are so grateful you are in our lives.

Love,

Mum

Good babies sleep through the night?

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It’s the strangest but most common question I get asked:

“Is he a good baby?”

Um, yeah. How do I answer that? “Nah, he’s got flaws but Mater don’t offer refunds?”
I do what most parents do: smile and nod.

“So he sleeps through the whole night, then?”
No. Is he supposed to? Is this what makes a good child, one that doesn’t still need the 3am feed? OMG, I have a dud baby because at 6 weeks, 3 months, and now 6 months my child still wakes up through the night.
/end sarcasm

See, he does sleep

See, he does sleep

I have had many people tell me I have to train Ethan how to sleep through the night. I have to use the cry-it-out method. I need to teach him to work to my schedule not have me work to his. A few months, weeks ago I would have looked at the ground in shame and went off to try these things I apparently have to do. I am a new mum, I’ve only got 6 months under my belt. And, these were midwives and child health nurses giving me this information. I have attempted CIO (Cry it out) twice and both times ended with Ethan and I being more distressed. I get distressed and he picks up on that when I go in after the allotted 2-5 min. The combined distressed was just too much for my little man and he threw up…and this was after I had told him I didn’t want to continue with it and was holding him.

Do I think it’s important that Ethan develop a healthy sleep hygiene routine? Do I want my child to develop a healthy sense of independence? Of course!

I just don’t think CIO is the technique for me.

[While I don't feel I can use the CIO method, I hold no judgement to parents who do. We do what works. I'm not one for competitive parenting ;) ]

Sleepy cuddles

Sleepy cuddles

Ethan and I have developed our own little routine. For now I still rock, sway and cuddle him to sleep if he needs it. I also give him the opportunity to try going off to sleep without my help. Sometimes he can, sometimes he needs his mummy. We’ve got our own little bedtime wind down time. At 4 pm he has some solids, then a bath (which can hype him a little), a quick tummy/arms/leg massage before I put on his jammies, then we hang out on our bed, read stories and cuddle. Lately, he will have a 1-2 minute grizzle in my arms before falling asleep. I held him as he cried so I could compose myself without having his distress escalate but after a minute or two he just smiled at me. If it had gone on for much longer I would have gone through the mental list of things that upset Ethan (wet nappy, hunger, too hot/cold etc)

He still wakes a few times through the night. Usually because Tim and I go to bed right when he’s in between deep sleep cycles and we accidentally wake him. All he needs is a gentle back rub and he will calm down and go back to sleep on his own.

We are in the middle of a fussy period, (Wonder Weeks if you are interested in the 10 fussy periods of babies and what they mean) so he needs more cuddles, and is getting a little frustrated at times because he can’t quite do things: crawling is his mission at the moment. So, there is more night time wakings and he was “fighting” sleep out of fear of missing out or something. I have him in our room in low light with two books and a blanket so there isn’t anything too interesting to trigger the urge to stay awake. Daddy is one of those triggers. Tim gets a massive reception each time he comes  home or even re-enters a room. That’s why it’s Ethan and I doing the sleep stuff.

Anyway, Ethan is a good baby because he just is. And I am a good mummy because I am doing the best for my son and listening to my mother’s intuition with confidence (not saying those who don’t aren’t good parents…)
I have a happy, thriving, intuitive, and silly little boy and I wouldn’t change a thing…except maybe the hair pulling, that kinda sucks.

 

12WBT: Dovah-Mummy Style

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As I said in my previous post, I quickly discovered that the 12wbt meal plan wasn’t right for me. So, I have spent the past few days planning meals more similar to what I would normally eat. It was weigh in today and I did actually lose 0.5kg since last Wednesday.

After some tweaking, I found that I can still eat the same amount as “prescribed” in the 12WBT. It’s just important that I have more serves of complex carbohydrates throughout the day. I am finding I am not quite as grumpy as I was. Tim likes the meals I cook so that’s a bonus :) Being meals I cook regularly, it’s actually easier for me than trying out new recipes. I have a Velcro baby at the moment so easy is key.

The primary aim for me is to improve my fitness. So, I am going to aim to get moving every day. I am in the process of working out Ethan’s wake/sleep cycle so I soon should be able to plan around that. Also, I feel embarrassed to exercise in front of Tim.  Tim’s back at work tomorrow so I can always attempt a video while he’s gone. And, I think when we move, we will have the space so it’s not so bad. I do need to work something out for his days off. Exercise is my downfall. It’s also the key to increasing my fitness.

My goals for the rest of the week are:

  • Increase my water intake
  • Stick to my meal plans
  • Try and get some exercise each day
  • Not beat myself up if I cannot do much

 

It’s all about timing

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My first week of the 12WBT program was completely derailed.

Ethan came down with pharyngitis (an inflammation in his throat). He didn’t like being sick and needed lots of cuddles. It put all my exercise plans on hold as he was inconsolable if he wasn’t held. I managed to cook a few of the meals but …I found them very different to what I normally eat. I didn’t really enjoy the food and finding it hard to recommit. We do have a lot of “red flag” events coming up: my sister’s wedding, and we are looking for a house to live.

My priority isn’t to lose the baby weight. It’s not something I am overly motivated to achieve right now. I know that is an excuse but…I know how to lose weight, I have successfully lost 20 kg in a healthy way before. I think I got caught up in the you’ve had an eating disorder so you can’t be trusted school of thought. I do love the exercise videos on the 12WBT plan. I know I am deviating from the plan but, as my therapist says, I’m not a “normal” weight loss participant. The rigidity and structure of the plan stirs up issues of control for me and I found myself falling back into an attitude of defiance. It was too much focus on weight and food and exercise.

The recipes were nice but very different to what I’d normally eat. I think that made it feel very obvious that I was “dieting”. I’ve decided to revamp and make our regular dinners more healthy.

12WBT Pre-season: Fitness Test

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12WBT for 2013

 

Even before I took my fitness test, I knew I would need to take the beginner’s exercise program. I had pelvic pain throughout my pregnancy so exercise over the 9 months was pretty limited. The pelvic pain hung around post-partum so I had to delay too much exercise, under the guidance of my physiotherapist. Pregnancy was not kind to my fitness levels so I made sure to tell myself that these results are my starting point. No judgement or negative self talk about my results. Instead, I choose to focus on the positive: I was able to complete each part of the fitness test. I was able to finish 1km, do a push up, etc. So here are my results

Untitled

 

I have made it a goal of mine to be able to run/jog the 1km time trial by the end of the 12 weeks. I was only able to run about 200m before my legs (and boobs) started to ache. I am not much of a runner so this adds an extra challenge for me.

That wall sit was surprisingly painful. Tim was quite confused as I was wincing and pulling strange faces to deal with the aching in my legs. And, I was surprised that I had a sit and reach score in front of my toes, I guess I still have some flexibility in this body of mine. I get to retest every 4 weeks so it will be exciting to see the progress I make.

12WBT Pre-season: Kitchen Makeover

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12WBT for 2013

This task is still a WIP (work in progress). Before I can do the big kitchen makeover, I need to do the big kitchen clean up! I have no idea what’s even in our cupboards and fridge. With the flooding affecting food stocks, I didn’t think it was the time to be throwing food out. And, I don’t think I will be “binning” any foods. They will just be relegated to “Tim’s section.”  When I read that this was a task, I thought long about how much I would ask my husband to change with me. Yes, his eating habits are kinda crappy but he doesn’t need to lose weight. I think the small amount he gained in sympathy with me during my pregnancy has brought him close to the normal range of weight for his height. So it’s not appropriate for him to follow a 1200 or even 1800 Cal diet with me. I know I have his support but I don’t need him to starve, go hungry or go without for me (I know if I asked he would, he’s that kind of guy).

So, how to tackle this?

Compromise! There is one food that I cannot control myself with: choc-chip cookies, specifically the ones made fresh in the bakery of Tim’s work. OMG, they are delicious! But, I can’t stop at one. Old binging behaviours rear up and I’m scoffing the entire 6 or 12 pack. I can say no to the Top Deck chocolate, the Shapes biscuits, even the ice cream. So, they pose no threat to my efforts to improve my body. All I ask is that the choc-chip cookies stay out of sight. Maybe if I get around to my big kitchen clean up I can give you guys a glimpse of my tiny kitchen/pantry/dining room. Yeah, they are all in one.

I do have healthy foods in our cupboard and fridge. I generally buy wholegrain bread, have wholemeal pasta, and try to have fresh fruit and veggies in the fridge.

I guess there is one thing that could be thrown out…the VLCD shakes that are just taking up space in our tiny tiny apartment. They do need to go as my doctors have advised me not to use them.

Note from the author: These are a little behind schedule and not inline with when they were released because my little dovah does require more of my time. Plus we have a few other things happening in our lives that I’ve been focusing on.